Appeal for Xihe Companions comes to an End


The Revolutionary Noti Values Party has announced that its request for Xihe Companions has been successful. The organisation issued the appeal last week as part of an initiative to improve its so-called ‘Master Chefs’ – a special strain of slave labour specifically designed to serve as culinary workers. According to a spokesperson for the group, the Xihe Companions will be used to develop implants that will give the slaves access to every known recipe and culinary technique.
The creation of the Master Chefs has angered human-rights campaigners, which have accused the Revolutionary Noti Values Party of inhuman practices. The campaigners have cited a Federal Times report in which it was claimed that the slaves were subjected to “the most punishing, dehumanising training imaginable”. The organisation was approached for comment, but responded only with an image of its shareholders laughing uproariously while drinking cocktails.
The Master Chefs will be available for purchase before the end of the year.